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Panel Round Two

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Maz Jobrani and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you so much Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill makes like 1985 Stevie Wonder when he becomes a part-rhyme lover.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I feel we're back on our game now. I'm happy about this. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, this week a scientist in Germany announced he has found a way to create diamonds from what?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: I guess carbon is not the correct answer.

SAGAL: Well, it is carbon, chemically it's necessary, but the interesting thing is the source of the carbon.

ROBERTS: Dead people's ashes?

SAGAL: No. No, that's the old. I'll give you a hint, these diamonds are especially great for choosy mothers.

ROBERTS: Choosy mothers choose Jiff.

SAGAL: Yes, which is?

ROBERTS: Peanut butter.

SAGAL: Yes indeed, that's the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: Wait, wait, wait, wait.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's right, peanut butter.

ROBERTS: That doesn't even make any sense.

SAGAL: Scientist Dan Frost, working in Germany, has come up with a whole new way for you to disappoint your wife - peanut butter diamonds. It's simple, diamonds, as you say, were made of carbon. Peanut butter is rich in carbon. So you just squeeze it hard, wait and try to keep away the dogs who are trying to lick your lab.

Frost was able to simulate conditions of high pressure found deep in the earth and created a tiny peanut butter diamond. They are very small so far and if you use peanut butter from a health food store, they have this gross layer of oil on top.

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: So now I'm going to stop feeding my kids peanut butter and jelly, just jelly because the peanut butter costs.

SAGAL: The peanut butter is too valuable. No, in order to make the diamond, they'd have to bite down really hard on that peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

JOBRANI: I'd put my kids to work.

SAGAL: Yeah, hell. Alonzo, you've got your new swimsuit if you're going on vacation, your beach books, you're ready to go. But now thanks to a plastic surgeon in New York, you can also bring along vacation what?

ALONZO BODDEN: Abs?

SAGAL: You are very close. This is true for women, this is something women...

BODDEN: Oh, for women? Vacation butt?

SAGAL: No. Go the other way.

BODDEN: Boobs?

SAGAL: Yes, vacation boobs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That's what they are. They're temporary breast implants, or in the words of plastic surgeon Dr. Norman Rowe, vacation breasts - that's what she calls them. Vacation breasts is a term usually used by men who are looking for something, not women who are taking it along.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There for less than $3,000, you can get a specially formulated injection and you've got bigger boobs for two to three weeks until they, I guess, what would be the word? Deflate? I don't know. The plastic surgeon says they're perfect for special occasions like a wedding or a vacation or a great first date and then a really super disappointing second date.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Why would - I mean, I live in LA where fake boobs are more or less the norm. But why would a woman want to spend that much and go through all that just to have them for two weeks? I mean, if you're going to do it, why not just get the surgery and get them done? You only want free drinks at the beach?

SAGAL: I guess so.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: A cheaper version would just to have a bee sting your boob.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: That's the cheap version.

SAGAL: I guess.

BODDEN: That's the really cheap version.

ROBERTS: That might be a little uneven.

JOBRANI: Hey, it's just for the vacation - just two weeks.

ROBERTS: You got to have two bees.

JOBRANI: Two bees, you need two bees.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Alonzo, the Discovery Channel, as you may know, has been very successful broadcasting dangerous stunts, including just recently the guy who walked blindfolded between skyscrapers in Chicago. But people are upset about an upcoming program in which another man will do what?

BODDEN: Allow himself to be eaten by an anaconda.

SAGAL: You are so right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Alonzo, that's right. Eaten alive.

ROBERTS: So disgusting.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The show is called "Eaten Alive." It will be broadcast on December 7 and it will show a man putting on a quote, "snake-proof suit," and then getting a giant snake to eat him whole. Presumably by saying, bet you can't eat me, bet you can't eat me. Animal-rights activists as well as normal people have been objecting...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To what they call animal cruelty. Animal cruelty. Come on, getting to eat one of us is every animal's dream. After all we've done to them, it's one for their side.

JOBRANI: And I wonder what - what's this suit? I wonder who makes that? Is it like Gap or something?

SAGAL: Probably.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: This is the dumbest idea ever.

ROBERTS: Really? There's a long list of really, really stupid things.

JOBRANI: But like how do you - who sits around and comes up with this idea?

BODDEN: Well, you got to - got to get on the Discovery Channel. Now the reason I knew this was I was on another show when they were talking about it and a snake expert came in and he said he doesn't believe it. He said he thinks the whole thing is staged, that you couldn't actually do this. And if an Anaconda did swallow you, you're done. Like, they can't pull you back out. So I don't know how they did that but I'm rooting for an Anaconda.

SAGAL: Oh, absolutely. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.